Jesus and Michael Jackson

If not seven days a week, it is at least five that I have a little girl standing beside me wanting the spot I am sleeping in. Once I move from that spot, maybe up to 3 or 4 times a week I have a second little girl standing next to me wanting the new spot I am sleeping in.

I figure its because they want the warm spot I have created, that, or they are just mean.

Next I am usually awakened with the same request or question “Mom, can I have some juice?”

Except this week, almost every day this week the first thing I have heard is “Mom, can I watch Michael Jackson?”

Having On Demand television has caused us to watch “Thriller” and “Remember the Times” nearly 4,336 times. OK, I’m exaggerating but it sure feels like it.

The girls were first turned on the Michael Jackson when his obit was on the front page of the Piqua Daily Call. Alani wanted to know who that girl was. I told her that it was a guy with long hair. She has since decided she doesn’t like guys with long hair.

Now if you’ve seen the “Thriller” video, Michael is darker and has shorter hair. In “Remember the times, his skin is more fair and he is sporting more make up and long hair. The only difference that seems to ever get questioned is the length of his hair or why zombies have blood in their mouth? All that matters to the girls is that they love the songs and dancing around.

It wasn’t until the other day that the girls found out that he died. We’ve had to explain death a few times to the girls. I’m not sure how much of it they really get but they realize that Grandpa Canan, Griffy (my mom and step-dad’s dog), Jesus and now Michael Jackson are in heaven.

I need to give a quick back story. Every time we pass a church the girl’s say “It’s Jesus’ house!” all excited. They’ve also realized that he has a lot of houses but seem OK with that too. I’ve also just signed them up for Bible School for the first time. So to get them excited about it Brad told them since they are always asking about Jesus that they will get to ask more questions about him at school and that they get to go to Jesus’ house. (They’ve also noted that Jesus has long hair and don’t like it either.)

So once the girls put together that they will be getting to go to school at Jesus’ house they wanted to know if they would get to see Michael Jackson there.

Awhile back we drove by Brad’s work. The girls noted that daddy works in a green building. So now they want to know what color everyone’s work is. Usually every one is confused once they get asked “What color is your work?”

So instead of trying to figure out all the ways to explain death, heaven and can I see them, I am thankful for an easy question like “What color is your work?” Until now. As I thought I was finishing this column up with “Can I see Michael Jackson at Jesus’s house” Tegan just asked, “What color is Jesus’s work?”

As if it were so simple.

It seems like every few weeks my column talks about how these women give me a run for my money, so why should this week be any different.

Wow.

They say patience is a virtue. Now according to Merriam-Webster dictionary virtue can mean 1a: conformity to a standard of right; 3: a beneficial quality or power of a thing; 5: a commendable quality or trait.

That’s it? That is all virtue means. When I’m dealing with these women on a stressed out, hair graying day. All I get is a ‘commendable quality or trait‘? I’m thinking patience should entail angelic sounds coming from the heavens as raindrops of diamonds fall from the sky and beams of sunlight shine down on my head as I softly smile while wiping up a tossed plate from the kitchen floor.

A virtue.

I’m highly disappointed.

We are all allowed moments of self-pity aren’t we? Rant over. I feel better now.

With summer in full tow the girls and I have been swimming quite a bit lately. It makes for a wonderful day.

I get excited to pack for the pool. Making sure we have all the right floaties and fun, colorful beach towels and deciding on what snacks to take to the pool.

Alani and Tegan will swim for hours on end. Alani reminds me of me when I was little because I was always in it for the long hall. Alani has a little more meat to her so she can hang a little longer than Tegan. Tegan will get out warm up a bit and get back in.

The girls have really surprised me this year. They jump from the sides and have no problem going under water. They are pretty attached to their arm floaties but we are working on that. If they are swimming in shallow water the love to put their faces in the water and kick their feet. They are even getting the arm motions. I’m hoping the girls will be swimming on their own by the end of the summer.

Speaking of the end of the summer can you believe it’s already July? We are already halfway through 2009. Before I know it my girls will be starting preschool and I will be crying the blues. I better quit complaining.

P.S. I did want to share that a Chinese proverb quickly put me back in my place as I did searches for quotes on patience, “One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.”

P.S.S. That certainly makes patience seem more important than a virtue doesn’t it?

Mom in Training 5/19

If you recall, recently my girls gave me the pleasure of dealing with my first toilet overflow situation. Well, the entertainment (for lack of a better word) continues.

We have a 5 gallon water cooler that sits on our back porch. For the most part the girls aren’t too bad with messing with it. So the other day I go to get a glass a water and I cannot get the handle to turn off. Water just keeps coming out and I yell to Brad to come and help me before water gets all over the place. I figure out the problem. The girls have messed with it so much that they loosened the handle so water was just spurting out of the threads. Problem solved. So I thought.

I usually get up a couple of times a night regardless of the girls and I generally get myself a shot of water. Now you have to walk pass our water cooler to get to the restroom. First off, before bed I conveniently sorted out laundry so I could dive into those household chores I love so much in the morning. So I had a load of laundry sitting on the floor in front of the water cooler. On my second trip through, around 4 a.m. I notice that the floor is damp and I look and see that almost the entire 5 gallons of water was flowing nicely out of our water cooler! Again, I tighten the nozzle. Obviously I didn’t get it the first time. But for once, my preparation of laundry paid off. Heh, it soaked up a nice bunch of the water. Of course it wasn’t nearly enough considering for an entire day I stood on towels trying to get the rest of the water up.

Day 2. A funky odor. Oh no, why is my house stinking? I take out the trash, run the garbage disposal but still I smell, something. So I get on my knees and smell the wet carpet. Oh no! The carpet smells horrible. I do what I do and jump on the internet to see what I can do to get bad odors out of the carpet. I settled on the vinegar, water, baking soda solution and set the fan up. I also boiled water and vinegar on the stove because I hear that is another way to get smells out of your home. When Brad gets home from work the house is swelling at the seams from a musty/vinegar smell. Not a good combination. I told him the next step was to tear up the carpet and get rid of the padding underneath. So like a good husband and father he promptly peeled up our carpet and discarded the padding.

He was so frustrated that if a washer, dryer, deep freeze and two cabinets didn’t sit on the carpet he would have ripped the entire thing up. I told him to just wait and we would see.

Happily, when I got up on the third day, the carpet and sub flooring was dry and it didn’t stink. I texted Brad the good news and we both felt much better.

All the while the girls play. It’s good to be a kid.

So, we are into year four with these ladies. They have turned our world upside down and cost us a fortune. They have peed on the couches and in their beds, the have splashed water out of the tub and overflowed our toilet, the have colored on the walls, lampshades and windows, they have wasted good amounts of shampoo and bubble bath, they throw whole bananas away after one bite and spilled things on the carpet. I could go on but you know what? This motherhood thing has been the best ride I’ve ever been on.

I just wish they came with some sort of insurance policy of their own.